Skip to main content


You are my baby sister that I never had.
You are my daughter that I will never father..
You are my mother that I had lost forever…
Let the throes of my folly remind..
Let the rapture of your embrace sustain…

The scheming vagabond that I am,
For all my incessant intellection,
You are the perfect foil…                     
The cool breeze that sweetens the long toil.              
How did you smite me? I know not.
The unruly curls of your tresses – a part of your plot?

What happens now…
Now that I have decided to partake in this little game?
Your bewitching mane..
Will I ever tame?
How long will I be absorbed in the uncharted crevices of your body?
Comfortably numb, Will I fall on my face?
Let the throes of my folly remind..                                  
Let the rapture of your embrace sustain…


I am getting married tomorrow. It is happening finally. It is happening after a long wait. After many heartbreaks. I am not surprised that I am doing this. Somehow I always knew I will be get married. What is surprising is that I am not nervous. I am not freaking out. There are a lot of reasons why I should freak out for allowing someone to enter my precariously balanced life. To give someone the room to hurt me. Really I am supposed to get cold feet. But I got nothing. In fact I can’t wait to go through this. This whole arrangement looks like one crazy accident. And an accident orchestrated by me. I am also supposed to be scared and concerned for the other life that I am enmeshing in the weave of the convoluted story of my life. Again I got nada.

It is strange that my own conviction scares me. This is one such moment. I am not scared about my marriage. But I am somehow terrified about how sure I am about all of this!


  1. Love you too much Ananth, for writing this!! :)

    I can deliver peacefully , now that you both have each other! :D

    Will call soon, once the pandemonium subsides...

  2. This comment has been removed by the author.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The demon and the devoured....

This is embarrassing, my honeybunch...
I know it will be for you as well...

What's this absurdity in missing you???

Sometimes I miss you and it hurts so much....

And then I remember that you are alive.. And with me... And I am alive.. And we have each other...


What panacea for the pangs of the poor puerile heart?

Panacea nay.... Placebo would be just fine...

Or perhaps another chance to say "I love you"...??? When what I should be really saying is "I devour you".


Post inspired by


Have you ever wondered why we gravitate towards certain situations and certain kinds of people? Why we instinctively trust and commit to a certain individual? I have wondered that. A lot.
The last few weeks, I have been thinking about Maamaji. I spent a lot of my time in the Himalayas with him. I was specifically wondering what made me choose him? Me and him – We were an eclectic duo. We come from two different worlds. He was an ageing Hindu pandit in a remote north Indian village. I was a catholic from South India with a fatal obsession for Yoga/Sadhguru. There were so many aspects of Maamaji’s personality that weighed uncomfortably on my then new-age-spirituality sensibilities. For eg, Maamaji personally rolls his tobacco and smokes them unapologetically after performing some Pooja in the nearby Uttarkashi temple. He charges money for performing these poojas promising that “Bhole Baba will help you pass the exam” etc. He gets angry quickly. Sometimes for arbitrary reasons. Any one…

Going to Ireland

I have reached Dublin! I am currently going through the excitement that normally accompanies getting thrown into a new place. Everything is different! Everything is new! Perhaps that's why I chose this tiny island to pass off my days as a coolie-for-hire. A chance to start on a clean slate. It is not as if I am running away from anything but once in a way there is this growing temptation to pack your whole life into 2 suitcases and hit the road. Or perhaps maybe I expect the new country will excite me enough. But i think it is mostly the Anonymity which I longed for. Much like Veera when she tells her strait-laced fiancé "Let's run away".

When i decided to come back to the industry, I was super-scared that i just would not have the fire in the belly to get anything done in a corporate environment. My experiences in Seattle looked like a lifetime of dreary ennui. But in some ways I feel I have made my peace with this world - material et all. God, I am even finding so…