Skip to main content

Shringeri


You are my baby sister that I never had.
You are my daughter that I will never father..
You are my mother that I had lost forever…
Let the throes of my folly remind..
Let the rapture of your embrace sustain…

The scheming vagabond that I am,
For all my incessant intellection,
You are the perfect foil…                     
The cool breeze that sweetens the long toil.              
How did you smite me? I know not.
The unruly curls of your tresses – a part of your plot?

What happens now…
Now that I have decided to partake in this little game?
Your bewitching mane..
Will I ever tame?
How long will I be absorbed in the uncharted crevices of your body?
Comfortably numb, Will I fall on my face?
Let the throes of my folly remind..                                  
Let the rapture of your embrace sustain…


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am getting married tomorrow. It is happening finally. It is happening after a long wait. After many heartbreaks. I am not surprised that I am doing this. Somehow I always knew I will be get married. What is surprising is that I am not nervous. I am not freaking out. There are a lot of reasons why I should freak out for allowing someone to enter my precariously balanced life. To give someone the room to hurt me. Really I am supposed to get cold feet. But I got nothing. In fact I can’t wait to go through this. This whole arrangement looks like one crazy accident. And an accident orchestrated by me. I am also supposed to be scared and concerned for the other life that I am enmeshing in the weave of the convoluted story of my life. Again I got nada.

It is strange that my own conviction scares me. This is one such moment. I am not scared about my marriage. But I am somehow terrified about how sure I am about all of this!


Comments

  1. Love you too much Ananth, for writing this!! :)

    I can deliver peacefully , now that you both have each other! :D

    Will call soon, once the pandemonium subsides...

    ReplyDelete
  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Yaad

Have you ever wondered why we gravitate towards certain situations and certain kinds of people? Why we instinctively trust and commit to a certain individual? I have wondered that. A lot.
The last few weeks, I have been thinking about Maamaji. I spent a lot of my time in the Himalayas with him. I was specifically wondering what made me choose him? Me and him – We were an eclectic duo. We come from two different worlds. He was an ageing Hindu pandit in a remote north Indian village. I was a catholic from South India with a fatal obsession for Yoga/Sadhguru. There were so many aspects of Maamaji’s personality that weighed uncomfortably on my then new-age-spirituality sensibilities. For eg, Maamaji personally rolls his tobacco and smokes them unapologetically after performing some Pooja in the nearby Uttarkashi temple. He charges money for performing these poojas promising that “Bhole Baba will help you pass the exam” etc. He gets angry quickly. Sometimes for arbitrary reasons. Any one…

Going to Ireland

I have reached Dublin! I am currently going through the excitement that normally accompanies getting thrown into a new place. Everything is different! Everything is new! Perhaps that's why I chose this tiny island to pass off my days as a coolie-for-hire. A chance to start on a clean slate. It is not as if I am running away from anything but once in a way there is this growing temptation to pack your whole life into 2 suitcases and hit the road. Or perhaps maybe I expect the new country will excite me enough. But i think it is mostly the Anonymity which I longed for. Much like Veera when she tells her strait-laced fiancĂ© "Let's run away".


When i decided to come back to the industry, I was super-scared that i just would not have the fire in the belly to get anything done in a corporate environment. My experiences in Seattle looked like a lifetime of dreary ennui. But in some ways I feel I have made my peace with this world - material et all. God, I am even finding so…

Mausam

It feels like fall, though it is prime summer. Should have been the time for feverish activity and unrelenting purpose For I know that this is the last stretch No time for sentimental retch
But there is this nagging feeling again… “Purpose is pointless. Motivation is madness.” When the sky is vast, the breeze is unbridled and the oceans wild, This daily routine is a damnation
There is a kitten in my backyard He looks at me with his damaged eye His loveliness makes me cry I want to caress and hold him nigh.. But even before I do that, I know it is not enough… For it is not just cuteness… It is a dare to dissolve Oh! The bluntness…
It’s been a while since I let a feline friend move me to tears All I want is to flop back to earth And take the maternal embrace of the dirt I want to let the borders of my body dissolve into the top soil I should remember to relax I should remember that I had been here before…
Oh! how many times more, this seasonal drama? How many more cycles of summer and…