Very strenuous hike uphill. It was raining heavily and the
forest path was infested with leeches. It was cold and I was soaked to my
bones. There were just too many elements to work against: the cold, the rain,
the inability to find sound footing, leeches trying to suck our oxygen starved
blood and of course the gravity straining the lungs. Just one rule seemed to
work in such situations. Whatever happens, don’t stop. Because if one does
stop, the elements get you mentally. And once that happens, it will all be
downhill from there. After endless climbing, presently the forests cleared and
the meadows started. That’s when the first of the valley of flowers could be
beheld. Would have been an ideal muse to Williams Wordsworth. The entire valley
was covered with thousands of petite delicate flowers, all intricately colored
swaying to the gentle mountain breeze. Panwali was supposed to be the place
where we are going to stay the night and it was magically perched on top of rolling meadows and
offered breath-taking vistas of distant snow clad peaks. Close to the peak, we
came across a sadhu who was struggling to climb. He was a mendicant saint
walking all the way from varanasi .
We helped him with his small baggage. It was extremely cold. Old man tells me the
worst is behind us. I needn’t worry as it is all downhill from here. That is
until one reaches Gaurikund.
I was dropping off S for one of her meetings. The conversation meandered into how some of our volunteer friends were talking about me leaving IYC. S was observing that we would have never got married if I was not a Isha teacher at that time. She also observed how my deciding to move to Blore was kind of thrust upon her. It was a fair observation yet painful for me to hear it. At some point, I felt the need to justify/explain/clarify that i am a seeker. Still a seeker. After I said it, I felt a moment of pause within me. Am I a seeker? I felt embarrassed that I have to claim me being a seeker in so many words. Am I really a seeker? What does being a seeker mean? Does it mean that I should be living in an ashram? Does it mean that I need to work 100% and more towards a larger-than-life goal? Does it mean that I am checking out of "Hotel California" ? i.e. I am done with the world and ready for something else? Does it mean to live a constant affirmation that I may not know every...
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