Shringeri

You are my baby sister that I never had.

You are my daughter that I will never father..

You are my mother that I had lost forever…

Let the throes of my folly remind..

Let the rapture of your embrace sustain…

The scheming vagabond that I am,

For all my incessant intellection,

You are the perfect foil…                     

The cool breeze that sweetens the long toil.              

How did you smite me? I know not.

The unruly curls of your tresses – a part of your plot?

What happens now…

Now that I have decided to partake in this little game?

Your bewitching mane..

Will I ever tame?

How long will I be absorbed in the uncharted crevices of your body?

Comfortably numb, Will I fall on my face?

Let the throes of my folly remind..                                  

Let the rapture of your embrace sustain…

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I am getting married tomorrow. It is happening finally. It is happening after a long wait. After many heartbreaks. I am not surprised that I am doing this. Somehow I always knew I will be get married. What is surprising is that I am not nervous. I am not freaking out. There are a lot of reasons why I should freak out for allowing someone to enter my precariously balanced life. To give someone the room to hurt me. Really I am supposed to get cold feet. But I got nothing. In fact I can’t wait to go through this. This whole arrangement looks like one crazy accident. And an accident orchestrated by me. I am also supposed to be scared and concerned for the other life that I am enmeshing in the weave of the convoluted story of my life. Again I got nada.

It is strange that my own conviction scares me. This is one such moment. I am not scared about my marriage. But I am somehow terrified about how sure I am about all of this!