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Notes from a Tribal Dropout

Leaving our Shivapadam house at the end of Mahashivarathri, I found myself contemplating the curious phenomenon of tribal detachment. Not a complete severance—more of a self-imposed exile, a deliberate step away from the collective heartbeat. Yet the Tribe, utterly indifferent to my absence, continues its relentless forward march. It recruits fresh blood, elevates new heroes to its pantheon, and advances its grand mission with mechanical precision. The proper response from someone who still claims tribal identity (albeit from a comfortable distance) would be pride, connection, enthusiastic cheerleading from the sidelines. But this isn't about proper responses or should-be feelings. This is about the messy reality beneath the socially acceptable veneer. And articulating what I actually feel requires a certain brutal honesty I'm not entirely comfortable with. Yes, I genuinely desire the Tribe's success. Yes, I experience what appears to be authentic happiness when my fellow...
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The Greatest show on Earth - Richard Dawkins

For the second time, in the last year or so, I am poring over another book from Richard Dawkins - this one is called The Greatest Show on Earth. This is my second book of Richard Dawkins. It’s far more breezy and compared to the earlier book that I read: "The Ancestor’s Tale". Like the previous book, it makes me wonder at the emergent sense of what can only be called Intelligence. This intelligence - seemingly unconscious and purposeless but which nevertheless powers the process through which animals or plants - Life - evolves to its rich eventual tapestry.  Each of the chapters are essentially arguments against the so-called Intelligent Design or Creationism. These chapters are enlivened by amazing stories of various life forms. These stories are what create a sense of wonder. These stories evoke a sense of disbelief, make me marvel at the sheer unlikeliness of the specific way life evolved the way it did. It also evokes a sense of kinship with all the creatures which endure...

Rediscovering Creator Mode

I recently started reading The Coming Wave by Mustafa Suleyman, a book that vividly explores how transformative technologies like AI, robotics, quantum computing, and biotechnology/genetics are reshaping our world. Suleyman’s vision is both fascinating and unsettling, painting a future where the open-sourcing of large language models (LLMs) and the commoditization of AI redefine the fabric of society. While the world is abuzz with speculation and hype around AI, I’ve realized that many of us have yet to internalize its true potential or understand its profound implications. For me, this realization hit home when I used Windsurf.AI to co-create a fully functional utility program for testing and experimentation at work. I had a clear idea for a utility program that I can use for testing/experimentation at my work. And then I took the plunge of actually using the system instead of reading or watching yet another breathless post about AI. Rediscovering the Joy of Creation The 30–40 mi...

Notes to Self - On Travel

Don't overplan Show up and see what happens Talk to people Trust Existence Allow randomness and serendipity to happen. Avoid tourist to-dos like a plague Travel through People - traverse their minds - be curious. Travel through Food - don't order what you recognize - ask what is good. Meditate in every new place - feel the place through meditation.

Revisiting America

I have been open about my obsession with America. I recently visited US after 7 years. Revisiting US was like discovering an old T-Shirt which was hiding at the bottom of your wardrobe for many years - feels alien initially but then it fits like a glove but then again, you sneer at your own juvenile fashion choices. I feel I resonate with US because it has some of the growing pains and dual identities that I have. It was interesting to see how some of my reactions to it have changed over the years. In a way, revisiting was an act of looking yourself into a time-machine mirror - feeling and juxtaposing your feelings with what you felt so many years ago. I went to the US for the first time in 2005 when i was a graduate hire for  Microsoft. Its been almost 20 years since i first set foot in the US. So a few things changed. America's juvenile antics amuse me less and less - I feel so sad/ridiculous that a country supposed so far ahead on so many things can get such basics twisted arou...

Reflections on Sandekphu and Salesforce

So I just reached back to Bengaluru and I keep thinking perhaps this is a good moment to write something. Some kind of mental snapshot is warranted. I am hoping to join a new company - Salesforce after working in Visa for just 1.5 years. I just completed another trek - some 80 kms walk in the park. During the trek, I wrote down a bunch of mental sticking points and the advantage of having such a list is to see which one of them are perhaps temporary and which ones might stick around for sometime and haunt one. During the trek, I kept reminding myself that I should not fixate on the destination - that lofty peak or that supposedly pretty valley. The trek itself was the prize that I have earned. And the one that I wanted to celebrate. And celebrate is the right word for it. There is nothing that comes close to describing what it was. Just stretching the body and mind and asserting its capabilities. During those walks, I got reminded of Illayaraja's song "Pitchai Pathiram" ...

The Atlas of My heart - Belonging

Last weekend, I drove 800 Kms for nothing. This is hard to explain to myself. It is harder still to write about it. It's been a week since September 23rd. That time of the year in the Isha Calendar when a kind of gathering happens around the Master. It is called Lap of the Master. I wanted to participate in it. At least I thought as much. So somewhat mechanically I made plans to reach in time and participate. However on the morning of the event, I found myself waking up in my ashram cottage and unable to find a reason to go to the event. I really don't know what was behind this sudden onset of Tamas . Almost as if to justify my unwillingness to get up, my mind is trying say that it is because of the crowd etc. But for whatever reason, I felt like not going to the event. I rather be curled up in my bed and read what I was reading. Over the next few hours, I felt a gnawing sense of disconnect and disconcert. This lead me to search for a word of what I was going through. I think t...